Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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