what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
