Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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