New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
