You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
