okay pat passed out under dana's car
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
