is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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