no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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