The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
