apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
