We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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