He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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