respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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