We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
