I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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