she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
