im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
