I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
