i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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