There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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