Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
