Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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