I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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