why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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