Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
