If i come over, it means nothing
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
