is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Randomize
