Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
