you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
