so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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