Will you blow on my dice?
I want to have your abortion
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
sex in a hospital.. check
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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