hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
