Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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