Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
