so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My dick has a subreddit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
