I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
