4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
