people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
