Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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