I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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