my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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