3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
