kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
