she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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