I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
