Im at strip club and am horny
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
