Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
