sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had to coat check the pizza.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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