I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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