i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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