i just had sex bonerless
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
