Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They are going to name an STD after you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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