why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
