Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize