coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
