Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize