I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
