hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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