I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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