OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
