We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize