You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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