I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
