My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
