Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize