K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
