Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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