I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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