Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Text me some of your sweat
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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