You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
