so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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