K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
