Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
